What’s A Great Life?

I believe a great life is of quality and peace of mind, that facilitates curiosity, empathy, generosity, and the ability to borrow positive energy from your own childhood. To support ownership of my own narrative and the expansion of my equity in how I invest in myself, a great life is to have power over my life and to inhabit my own skin with freedom and joy.

For this blog entry, I will spotlight my grandfather aka Pop-Pop aka Lionel Jackson. He was on this earth for only 73 years, but his legacy remains nearly 33 years later. Pop-Pop grew up in Jackson, Tennessee. He had a Bachelor’s degree in education. In his younger days, getting a Bachelor's degree for him was like achieving a PhD. It was a major accomplishment for any Black man to receive. Pop-Pop had lived in Philadelphia for most of his adult life. In a city plagued by problems, my grandfather remained generous, curious, and empathetic. All people experience emotions, but I often tend to notice who can accurately identify their emotions as they occur. Some empathic people tend to not identify their emotions and can often go misunderstood, which leads to irrational and illogical choices or counterproductive actions.

During our ritualistic outings to get ice cream at Baskin Robbins 31 Flavors, he called it "cream", it was common for these excursions to coincide with his robust emotional vocabulary and philosophical point of views. Looking back through the wide eyed lens of a child, I remember when my normally jolly Pop-Pop mentioned if he felt irritated, frustrated, or worried. The more specific his word choice, the better insight I had into exactly how he was feeling, what caused it, and what he should do about it. For me, I was an active listener. Pop-Pop had a natural curiosity about everyone around them. His curiosity was the product of empathy. He cared about other people, and what they were going through. He was difficult to offend by having a firm grasp of who he was. His self-confidence, sense of humor and social awareness shaped who I became giving me the ability to read other people, to know what they are about, and understand their motivations. His quest to be the best version of himself rubbed off on me. In my memory I can picture when Pop-Pop was a local pastor for the Methodist churches in the community. I found it fascinating that I had a Catholic upbringing during my early years attending nursery school, taught by French nuns based on my parent’s influence, and my maternal grandfather worked in a Protestant ministry.

Since my grandfather was never one to push, he had the ability to frame a narrative to show his children and grandchildren what the access to education can do. I double majored at Temple University, studying International Business and Marketing. Some of the hardest and biggest lessons I learned was to adapt to change. It meant becoming flexible when learning about differing viewpoints demonstrated in books, students, and professors. It meant trying to abate the fear of change and systemic threats to my ability to succeed and graduate with a college degree. I felt that if I expected change, I could plan around it and for it. Some may call the embracing of change as "critical thinking." Others may just call it "surviving." Pop-Pop allowed for each child to follow their own process, but he was always there to ask "how can I help, what can I do?" He had prepared me to get out of my bubble, to see the world, and to form my own generosity of spirit, resources, and insight. After graduating and working in the real world, while I understood my own emotions, it was another thing to lean into them and to use them to my full advantage, while keeping my weaknesses from holding me back. Being aware of those who pushed and installed my buttons was a constancy. I would seek out supportive environments and surround myself with people that fostered my success.

Today, I still look to learn, to improve my self-confidence, and to stretch my mind, even if that moment is painful or uncomfortable. This is my commitment to personal growth and balance. If I am half the person that my Pop-Pop was, then I can radiate a quiet confidence, remain calm and centered in the face of the challenges to come and still find room for joy in 2020 in spite of all of the challenges of this year.